Grieving a Pet Loss? We Can Help.

Posted on by WellPower

Losing a pet is devastating, and the grief that comes with it can be difficult to bear. 

Grief looks different for everyone. And it can be a painful process. But finding ways to move forward helps you cherish the memories and accept the loss of your pet, providing relief from grief symptoms.

“Whether we’ve lost a person in our life or a pet, that grief is a very similar process. Your loss is unique, complex and real for you,” said Allison Miller, LCSW, program manager at WellPower. “Grief is not a fast process – it takes time. There’s no magic pill for grief.”

The Grief Process is Not Linear

“There’s a misconception that grief is a linear experience, and it’s not,” Allison said. 

There are stages of grief that can be very real, such as anger, denial, bargaining, depression and acceptance, but they are not linear in nature. 

“You can go through them at any point in time for any reason, and it can change on a daily basis,” Allison said. 

Think of grief as ocean waves. Sometimes waves are huge and overwhelming. Other times, waves can be small and gentle. And they can be anywhere in between. Grief is the same way – it can fluctuate at any time. Experiencing waves of different emotions at different times is very normal when it comes to grieving anything in life.

Coping Strategies for Grieving a Pet Loss

Grief can involve the same symptoms as depression. When you lose a pet, it might feel hard to get out of bed, focus or do things you used to enjoy. 

“We can’t resolve grief for people – grief just is. No one can give you back the pet you lost,” Allison said. “It’s more about creating a solid foundation of taking care of ourselves so our body systems can withstand the emotional and cognitive impacts of loss.”

A variety of coping strategies can help ease some depression symptoms of grief:

  • Pay attention to meeting your basic needs. Try to get sufficient sleep and eat nutritious foods. 
  • Exercise. Get your body moving in a way that you enjoy.
  • Do something to stimulate your senses. Take a warm bath, drink ice water, listen to music or take a walk outside.
  • Practice Mindfulness: Try breathing techniques or meditation.
  • Connect with others: You might want to talk to someone in your life who has also lost a pet to share relatable experiences. Or, you might want to connect with someone to distract you from your grief. 
  • Create a ritual: Find a way to manage anniversaries or reminders of your pet. Maybe do something on their birth or death anniversary to remember them. 
  • Explore your individual spirituality and hope. Reflect on your spiritual or cultural beliefs around death and loss. Connect with members of your faith community to seek support if this is important to you.
  • Establish new routines. For example, if you used to walk your dog every morning, think about how you can adjust that routine and, instead, do something to take care of yourself.
  • Spend time with other animals/pets: If you find that you want to be around animals, but you aren’t in a place where you want to adopt another pet after your loss, volunteer at a local pet shelter. Or pet-sit for a friend.
  • Be mindful of your caffeine intake. Excessive caffeine can disrupt your body chemistry.
  • Avoid substances. Limit alcohol intake and avoid substance use. 

              When to seek professional help:

              Reaching out to a mental health professional is a good idea any time you feel like you could use some support. 

              If you’re having a really difficult time finding positive memories of your pet, or if your grief is disrupting your life, such as impacting your ability to go to work, it might be a good time to seek treatment. If you’re having thoughts of self-harm or not wanting to live, it is crucial to get support. 

              Resources:

              Colorado Crisis Services

              • Call: If you are in crisis or need help dealing with one, call toll-free to speak to a trained professional: 844-493-TALK (8255).
              • Text: If you don’t feel comfortable calling, you can also text TALK to 38255.
              • Walk-In Center: Find 24/7 in-person crisis support at any walk-in centers.

              Access Services at WellPower

              The Invisible Leash: An Invisible String Story About the Loss of a Pet

              • This book written by Patrice Karst and illustrated by Joanne Lew-Vriethoff is a great resource for children (and adults) experiencing a pet loss.
              • You can also watch a reading of the book on YouTube here.