Grief is painful, intense and often lonely no matter when it strikes. But for those who have lost a loved one, the holidays, usually a time that is full of happiness and togetherness, can transform into a time that is heavy and sorrowful.
WellPower’s CEO, James Greer, shared last spring that his own journey with navigating his son’s death plays a big role in his work. As James experiences his third holiday season without Tigee, he shared a reflection on how his journey continues to unfold. He also shared his experience on 9NEWS recently.
We took the opportunity to invite WellPower’s staff to also share their experiences and thoughts on grief. We hope that reading them may provide those who are struggling with a new perspective, some hope or at the very least, acknowledgement that you are not alone.
Please note that the following reflections deal with trauma, illness and suicide.
Grief is Not a Five Stage Process – James Greer, President & CEO
On a recent trip to visit my mother, a song that was played at my son Tigee’s funeral came on unexpectedly from an old playlist during my flight. In a moment, all my grief came flooding back. I was trapped, mid-flight, with nowhere to go to process my pain.
I thought navigating grief would get easier as time went on but it stings each day just as fresh as the first time I heard that Tigee was gone. Each day I wake up and before I get out of bed, there is this quick moment of not wanting to get up and face the day. Although I am moving through the day doing impactful work at WellPower, creating adventures with my husband, family and friends, there is this part of me that is hollow. This is all so new to me.
I thought grief was this thing where you went through the five stages and then you were able to move on with your life. I have lost people close to me in my life prior to the loss of Tigee, but the loss of a child is not the same as other losses I have experienced. I have had friends and people close to me say “James you are different now.” They are right; I am different. Different in how I see the world, my purpose, my work and how I interact with my family.
I’m also different in the sense that I don’t want to hide how difficult it is to navigate this part of life. Encouraging people to be open to help in navigating all types of grief is critical to the work that WellPower does. So, I plan to continue to let this part of my journey guide important parts of my work and how I move through the world.
Losing Your First Family – Sarah Otto, Director of Revenue Cycle Management
The holidays are difficult for me because they’re connected to significant losses in my life. Eighteen years ago, I lost my father the day before Thanksgiving. Seven years ago, I lost my mother two days before Thanksgiving – right as we learned my only sibling had stage 4 brain cancer. Five months later, my brother lost his battle.
My brother and I were just 11 months apart and grew up as best friends. Losing him changed me in ways I never imagined. While I have an amazing husband and children to spend the holidays with, the holidays are tied to memories of losing my entire childhood family, and that makes this season incredibly hard.
What helps me is taking extended time off to be with my family and make new memories – because memories are what I hold onto. If you’re grieving this season, know that it’s okay to feel both joy and sadness. You’re not alone.
Transforming Grief into Purpose – Kristin Novotny, Clinical Program Manager
This season always brings a mix of emotions for me – gratitude and joy intertwined with deep sadness and longing. Four years ago, I experienced the traumatic loss of my older child. That loss changed everything about me. Through therapy, support groups and intentional work, I’ve learned to reframe what it means to love someone and to continue building a relationship even after they’re gone.
Grief has shaped me in profound ways. My compassion and empathy have expanded, and my sense of purpose has deepened. These experiences inform how I show up and what I give. While I don’t often share this part of my life because it can feel uncomfortable, I felt compelled to speak after hearing James Greer’s message. His words reminded me that our stories matter – and that stepping forward, even when it feels scary, can create space for connection. Thank you.
Christmas Trees as Symbols of Love and Loss – Allison Miller, Clinical Program Manager
This season is also very difficult for me, and I wanted to share to be in community with others. Winter has been when I’ve had losses in my life and it’s a difficult time for me in general with the sun departing our hemisphere. My mother’s partner, “Pops,” died in November of 2017; my grandfather in January of 2007; friends and a number of pets ended their time in the winter; and more recently my grandmother, mentor and most wonderful human ever passed two years ago. She was a second mother to me and my sister growing up and she’s an inspiration for all I do. Her loss, while very painful – I cry easily while putting up her ornaments on our tree – has connected me more deeply with who I am, who I came from and how I want to honor her memory and show up in the world. It’s a loss that has only solidified my desire for advocacy, caregiving and being an open door for any experience, much as she was.
Over the years our tree has become a symbol of love, loss and transitions this time of year as we put it up, remember, reflect, mourn and hope. It’s got items from five generations of my family (my great grandmother’s home-made ornaments to my children’s first baby ones) and represents our love, loyalty and commitment to one another and the bonds that shape us, even when folks have departed our lives.
This year I was also surrounded by overwhelming gratitude for the health of my husband and family as he was almost lost to us this past fall. What a lot of experiences can come up for folks this time of year, but none of us are islands and none of us are alone in our experiences.
Bonding Through Grief – Angela Oakley, Chief Financial Officer
Growing up the holidays were always very special to my family, especially my mom. She was my hero and one of the strongest, most caring individuals I have ever known. She made the holidays special for us. She died two days before Thanksgiving in 2014 of a brain tumor. We found out about it and lost her six weeks later. The first few holiday seasons were extremely difficult for me. My husband and kids knew how important it had been for me so they stepped in when I could not do everything. Now, I honor my mom and remember her with every decoration I put up, every meal I make and every moment I spend with my family.
I lost my brother to suicide in April 2024 and this was a complete shock. The holidays hurt again without him but I am able to lean in to what we do have. My sister and I have developed an incredible bond as we have gotten each other through both of these tragedies. I feel my mom with me always, and know she is watching over me. Her life’s work was as a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, and I know she had a part in me finding WellPower.
The Forever Reality of Grief – Anonymous Staff Member
Grief is scary, because while you recognize at some level that it will change, and at times will lessen, you also know that it will never fully go away. It’s not something you can control, and it will be with you forever. After losing a close friend to suicide in December 2023, I was overwhelmed, not only by the awful reality that he was gone, but by the realization that mourning him would forever be a part of the holidays for those who loved him.
This time of year is meant to be joyful because it is about taking the time to appreciate the people we love. The grief will always be there, but it’s less scary to acknowledge that I can still find joy in his memory, and I can still honor him and embrace the friendships and people he left behind. Each December as his anniversary passes, I also begin looking for a Christmas gift for our godson. While I wish it was a tradition we were continuing together, I’m trying to use it as an opportunity to share another piece of who he was, and to foster a relationship that he held very dear.
If You Are Grieving, You Are Not Alone
Grief is a deeply personal and enduring journey, and one that is felt acutely by many at this time of year. As our staff have reflected, there is strength and comfort to be found in connection – with loved ones, with cherished memories and within our broader community. Reach out, share your story and allow others to walk beside you.
If you are struggling this season, know support is available. The 988 Colorado Mental Health Line is available for free, immediate, human support 24/7/365. You can call, text 988 or live chat at 988colorado.com.
You can also visit a walk-in center for immediate, in-person help in a crisis. Denver’s walk-in center (operated by WellPower) is at 4353 E. Colfax Ave. Find the location closest to you here.
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