Thanksgiving break can offer a pause in our busy lives – a chance to slow down, share meals and spend uninterrupted time with our kids. But as the routines of school and work fade into the background, some parents find themselves noticing things they hadn’t before: changes in mood, behavior or social interaction that might raise some questions.
Is your child just tired from their typical routine, or could something deeper be going on? Let’s explore what kinds of new observations are common (and normal) during holiday downtime – and when they might signal it’s time to take a closer look or reach out for support.
What might a parent notice that could seem off?
Any significant changes in your child’s behavior that you notice should prompt some questions from you as a parent.
“Isolating that seems more than normal is something you should pay attention to,” said Bill Phelps, MSW, LCSW, assistant program manager at WellPower. “If they are not socializing with friends and family when they normally would, that should raise some questions, especially if it’s in conjunction with other warning signs that something more serious could be going on, such as changes in appetite and sleep patterns.”
Some isolating is normal – children, especially teenagers, often do that. There are also everyday challenges that are completely normal, too. Sometimes we have arguments with our friends, get poor grades or don’t like a teacher we have at school.
“Those are normal things and those should resolve if we have a good skill set and the emotional capacity to deal with those everyday things,” Phelps said.
For example, maybe you meet with your child’s teacher, or you help your child navigate a disagreement they had with a friend. Those types of normal struggles should get better within a few weeks and things should return to normal.
However, if something is not getting resolved, things aren’t getting better and your child is isolating more than they typically do, there might be something more serious going on.
What to do if you notice concerning behaviors?
“The most important thing is to talk to your kid,” Phelps said. “Approach them in a nonjudgmental way. Ask a simple question, ‘Is everything okay? Are you doing okay?’ Share what’s coming up for you as a parent.”
Tell them, “I’m worried. I’m concerned.”
“It’s important for parents to share that they care about their kids and that they worry about them,” Phelps said. “It’s something kids want to hear and want to know. I don’t think parents always realize the importance they play in their kids’ lives through their children’s viewpoint. The simple act of communicating, ‘I care about you, I worry about you and what you’re going through is important to me,’ can have a huge impact on a child.”
You might feel like your child is pushing you away and that they feel like they don’t need you. But the initial attachment from child to parent is still there, even through the teenage years – and even if your child doesn’t admit it.
“They absolutely need you,” Phelps said. “Your kids need you, and you need to tell them you care about them, you worry about them, and you want to know what’s going on in their lives.”
If your child indicates they’re not doing well and they feel hopeless, lonely or disconnected, it might be time to seek professional help. And any impression of a child feeling like they wish they weren’t here or saying they want to go to sleep and not wake up is an emergency crisis.
“Normal problems will get worked out and things can return to normal. It’s when a kid feels helpless, or that there’s no answer, or they don’t know where to look for an answer – that’s when you need professional help,” Phelps said.
How to get help
Mental Health Services at WellPower:
WellPower offers mental health services across the lifespan. Call us at (303) 504-7900 Monday through Friday 8 a.m. – 5 p.m. If you have Medicaid insurance, you can also request an appointment online.
STAY SAFE Partnership at WellPower:
The WellPower program Bill works with is called Supporting Teens and Youth through Safety and Family Empowerment (STAY SAFE) Partnership. STAY SAFE is a program for youth ages 11-19 in Denver County who have experienced a recent suicide attempt or severe suicidal ideation. In addition to meeting families in their homes and providing telehealth services, the STAY SAFE Partnership operates out of two of WellPower’s locations:
- WellPower at Freshlo Hub: 12444 East Albrook Dr., Denver, CO
- Dahlia Campus for Health & Well-Being: 3401 Eudora St., Denver, CO
To learn more about the STAY SAFE Partnership, please call (303) 504-7700.
988 Colorado Mental Health Line:
In crisis right now and need someone to talk to? The Mental Health Lifeline is here to help.
The 988 Colorado Mental Health Line is available for free, immediate, human support 24/7/365. If you or someone you know is struggling with an emotional, mental health and/or substance use concern, call or text 988 or live chat at 988colorado.com.
In Colorado, you can also visit a walk-in center for immediate, in-person help in a crisis. Denver’s walk-in center (operated by WellPower) is at 4353 E. Colfax Ave. Find the location closest to you here.
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