One of the most powerful ways to help someone thinking about suicide is also one of the simplest: ask directly, listen with care and remind them they are not alone.
At WellPower, suicide prevention starts long before a crisis point, and continues long after. In preparation for Suicide Prevention Month in September, we sat down with Megan Bettenberg, MA, LPC, program manager of WellPower’s Zero Suicide program, and Marchell Taylor, Certified Peer and Family Specialist and peer specialist, to find out why asking about suicide does not create danger, but relief, connection, and hope.
1. First, who are you and why is this work important to you?
BETTENBERG: I manage WellPower’s Zero Suicide program, which focuses on identifying suicide risk early and responding with care, consistency, and follow-through. The most important part is intervening at the beginning, when warning signs first appear and when data, clinical care, and case management can help us understand who may need more support.
TAYLOR: My passion comes from personal experience. My path here was not a straight line. It included childhood trauma, 24 years of incarceration, a traumatic brain injury, and my own mental health treatment. The turning point was one person who did not give up on me. That is why I do this work now. I know what it is like to be on the other side, and I know what it takes to find purpose again.
I want to start out with some statistics to provide perspective. Internationally, someone dies from suicide every 40-45 seconds. In the US, every 12 minutes (maybe while you’re reading this article). In Colorado, every 7 hours. This is urgent.
2. What makes WellPower’s approach to suicide prevention unique?
BETTENBERG: In the Zero Suicide framework, caring contacts support people after a higher-risk moment, such as hospitalization or entry into a suicide prevention pathway. I realized people needed more than phone calls, so we began using data to proactively identify people who may need support and expanded outreach into residential homes, the Behavioral Health Solutions Center, and other settings where people may not ask for help directly.
TAYLOR: The caring contact system grew into something bigger: cards, phone calls, groups, and direct connection. Megan saw that people at the Solutions Center needed more support, so she asked me to start a “You’re Not Alone” group. It gives people a place to hear from someone with lived experience that they do not have to carry everything by themselves.
BETTENBERG: Peer support changes what help feels like. These groups are not overly clinical spaces; they are places where people can talk honestly, share ideas, and feel part of something. So far, this approach has reached about 2,500 people. That level of peer-led connection is powerful.
3. What do you want people to know about suicide?
TAYLOR: Stigma keeps too many conversations from happening. People worry that if they ask someone about suicide, they will put the thought in that person’s head. But for many of us who have experienced suicidal thoughts, we are hoping someone will ask. We are hoping someone will notice.
BETTENBERG: Most people who are thinking about suicide do not want to die; they want their psychological pain to end. In that moment, suicide can look like the only solution. Compassionate intervention can open the door to hope: a conversation, a walk, a peer sitting beside someone, or reconnecting a person with something they used to love.
TAYLOR: I want talking about emotional pain to become as normal as talking about a broken leg. If you break your leg, people know to tell you to go to the hospital. But if I ask where you go when you are broken emotionally, people often freeze. We need to spark that conversation so people know help exists, and it’s a completely normal, healthy thing to do. I want seeking support for mental health to be as normal as getting a cast for a broken leg.
4. What’s the most common misconception you hear about suicide?
BETTENBERG: The biggest misconception is that talking about suicide puts the thought in someone’s head. It does not. Asking opens the door. It gives someone a chance to say what they are experiencing without shame. Sometimes the most powerful intervention is a warm, kind, direct question.
TAYLOR: Shame and guilt can keep people silent. If you’re having suicidal thoughts, you think, “I’m not supposed to be feeling this way,” so you hold it in and hope someone recognizes what is happening. Many of us have been told, “You’re an adult, you can do it alone,” or “You’re a man, you can do it alone,” and we internalize that we can and should do it ourselves from an early age. If someone had asked me directly before my own crisis, I would have opened up. That would have meant a lot.
5. What are some warning signs that someone might need help?
BETTENBERG: Warning signs often show up in three categories: talk, behavior, and mood. Hopelessness is one of the biggest: hearing someone say, directly or indirectly, that they do not see a way forward, that there’s not hope or no point to continuing. Other signs can include withdrawing, changes in routine, stopping medication, increased substance use, or suddenly seeming calm after a period of deep distress.
Baseline matters a lot here because everyone is different. What would be a big change for one person might not be that dramatic for another. And everyone has off days, and we all go through hard moments in life that would necessarily indicate suicidality. The point is not to make assumptions or generalize based on what might be true for other people; it’s to approach the person with curiosity and compassion: “What happened today?” “What’s going on for you?” Then to begin to assess whether what they’re going through is really a departure from what would be expected.
6. What’s the single most effective thing to do to help someone?
BETTENBERG: It helps to come from a place of what I call the “Three C’s”: compassionate, curious and collaborative. Start by naming what you notice in a compassionate way: “I have noticed you seem more agitated lately,” or “I have noticed you seem sad. What is going on for you?” That opens the door without judgment. Curiosity is important and helps avoid judgment. If someone’s behavior is different – maybe they’re more irritable, stressed, or down – it could just be that they had a hard day, or a bad commute, or they just failed a math test. Starting with an open mind and genuine curiosity helps establish a caring tone and opens the door for collaboration – the third C. This should be a conversation, not one person trying to figure out what’s wrong with the other and then telling them what to do about it. This is one of the things that the peers specialists at WellPower are so good at.
TAYLOR: As a peer, I do not try to take the emotion away. I validate it. I tell people, “You are not alone, and I am here with you in it.” Sometimes a person needs someone willing to sit with them before they need a solution. And sometimes it’s completely understandable that someone would be having these thoughts – life is hard, and some people’s lives are almost unimaginably hard. What matters most in that moment is presence: being there – just being. Then, let them know that you care about them, and they’re not alone in what they’re experiencing.
BETTENBERG: And you can often see the relief when someone is given permission to talk. Their body changes. Their shoulders drop, their breathing eases. The floodgates open – the anger, trauma, loneliness, housing problems, whatever they have been holding inside comes to the surface. It can be a huge relief.
If they’re able to open up to you about what they’re going through, it can also help to acknowledge that and thank them for trusting you: “Thank you for telling me. That took courage. I would be really sad if you died. How can I help you?” You are letting them know they matter. And, the direct language – “I would be really sad if you died” – can be really powerful, even if it might seem uncomfortable to say it out loud. Sometimes that is exactly what makes it resonate.
7. Anything else you want people to know?
TAYLOR: I try to spark the conversation wherever I can because most people still do not know how to approach this topic. No one should have to wait until a crisis becomes unbearable before someone reaches out.
BETTENBERG: I also want people to know that everyone should have a backup plan, just in case you or someone you know ever needs it. We all have mental health, and you might be surprised at how something like suicidal thoughts can come up in times of unexpected emotional stress. So, know things like 988 – the Colorado Mental Health Lifeline, which you can call or text 24/7/365 to connect with a real, live human – before you need it. Know who you would call and where you could go in an emergency. Trainings like our Mental Health First Aid program are fantastic at helping build these skills and learn how to support someone in the moment, too.
And remember: support is not only for the person in crisis. It is also for the person who notices and cares – it can be really challenging to be the support person for a person in crisis. Allow yourself grace and care, too.
How to get help with suicidal thoughts
If you or someone you know needs urgent support, call, text or chat 988, the Mental Health Lifeline. In Colorado, you can also visit a walk-in center for immediate, in-person help in a crisis. Denver’s walk-in center (operated by WellPower) is at 4353 E. Colfax Ave. Find another Colorado location closest to you here.
For more resources about suicide prevention, including information about WellPower’s program, click here or give us a call at (303) 504-7700. We gladly welcome Medicaid members, and we accept a range of Medicare and commercial insurance plans.
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