A couple of years ago, after attending a school for higher education, a junior college, I found out a couple of surprising things about myself. I learned what respect is and that sometimes I had difficulty with other people. While enrolled in two classes through a federal grant to enhance my job capabilities in data entry, I began to understand my disability and how my symptoms often made me feel distant to other people. I also found out that these symptoms sometimes caused me to set myself up for failure. I was scared! The numbers of people traveling from class to class overwhelmed me, and every day I wondered how many people understood that I had a mental illness. This was scornful thinking that I was placing upon myself–even when I was being supported by the school because of my disability and all the while still working. I worked outside of classes nearly 40 hours a week. My peers at my job gave me support as well as those at the college who knew ahout my mental illness. As I was employed while attending classes, I began to feel stronger with the realization that I was not alone.
According to a white paper published last year by the Florida-based mental health organization Cafe Tac, “supported education{provides assistance to}people with psychiatric disabilities to take advantage of skill, career, education and interpersonal development opportunities within a normalizing academic environment (Cafe Tac, 2002).” This statement helped me to recognize that after my first few attempts at attending college, I could now respect myself for succeeding in school with a disability. Just as importantly, it gave me a new-found respect for anyone who gives his all to excel in school while managing a job and a mental illness.
Having to take medications made this a great victory by going to school and going through recovery for addictions as well. This allowed me to experience education which I feel many consumers should make as an investment. There are a great many people with mental illnesses who are attending a secondary school of higher education. Many are pursuing degrees despite their illness. At one point in time, I felt I wouldn’t be able to maintain good grades through the two semesters, yet, because I worked and kept my conscious thoughts on the job as well, I believed for a short while that this was going to be my success. I overcame my fears again and began to associate with the instructors and relate to them what I was facing. I became aware that other students and instructors had some what the same predicament as me–some were working other jobs and having to deal with many students as well, even though the many of the students and instructors as well had no disabilities. I began to feel stronger, knowing I was not alone with my mental illness. I continued to try to prove to myself that I can to succeed in another way, and that responsibility and respect are real attitudes that can be recognized in anyone who wishes to believe in themselves as well as others. For the many that are thinking of returning to school, I say, “go for it”–you are already a part of the race to live. Live for the knowledge which takes you beyond that feeling of entrapment you have been living with. And believe you can succeed.
Work Cited:
Supported Education of Consumers of Mental Health Services. (2011). Cafe Tac white paper on the increase of mental health consumers returning to school to pursue higher education. [White paper]. Retrieved from http://www.gmhcn.org/files/SUPPORTED-EDUCATION-white-paper-5-27-11-1.pdf.